Category Archives: humor

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Selfie ​

होली या?

आज दीपिका हो गई हर बाला, रणबीर हर बाल
बावले हो गए नाच नाच कर काले चश्में डाल
जोगी रा सा रा रा
जितनी भी थी दबी कुंठा दी सब निकाल
ढूंढ रहे बहाने छूने के लड़कियों के गाल
जोगी रा सा रा रा
और जितनी साल भर से दबी थी कसक भाभियों ने भी दी निकाल
नाच नाच कर कर दिया धमाल
जोगी रा सा रा रा
रही सही कसर भंगेड़ियों ने दी निकाल
लोट लोट कर सड़क पर मचा दिया बवाल
जोगी रा सा रा रा
अब हर कोई होड़ में कितनी ज्यादा फोटो फेसबुक पर दू्ं मैं डाल
झूठे लाईक देख देख हुए जा रहे निहाल
जोगी रा सा रा रा
थक कर चूर, अब दफ्तर जाने का नहीं हाल
अगली होली तक पागलपन थम गया फिलहाल
जोगी रा सा रा रा ।

बेब और बेबे

बेब ते बेबे
बेब  थी तो अपने हुस्न पर इतराती
घंटों शीशे के सामने लगाती
बेबे हो गई, वॉश रूम में काफी वक्त बिताती
बेब थी तो मरते गबरू, सुन तर उसके लफ्ज़
बेबे हो गई अब चले धीरे नब्ज
परेशान बड़ा करती कब्ज
बेब लगाए मस्कारे
खाए गोलगप्पे ले ले चटकारे
बेबे हो गई, आएं खट्टे डकारें
सुबह शाम करे नमक के पानी के गरारें
बेब लगाए लिपिस्टिक
बेबे  चले,ले हाथ में स्टिक
काहे का मान तेरा जवानी
हर बेब एक दिन बेबे हो जानी ।

स्नैपडील

This is for snapdeal ,they launched a song this is my version
“सबसे जिद्दी कोशिश हो गई  फेल
नकली माल रहे लोगों को पेल
सबसे लंबी छलाँग
कस्टमर केयर वाले बैठे पी कर भाँग
नामुमकिन ख्वाब
काँटे ही काँटे नहीं कहीं गुलाब
सबसे जहरीली मुस्कान
चोरों की दुकान
सबसे,बड़ा ताज्जुब हुआ नहीं अब तक
कस्टमर केयर वाले करें बक बक
सबसे बड़ा दुख
छीन ले कस्टमर का चैन सुख
स्नैपडील में कुछ भी अच्छा नहीं हुआ
बंद हो यह, है मेरी दुआ 
ख्वाब करते हैं बर्बाद
दुखी इससे लोग दिल्ली, पंजाब, अहमदाबाद
उम्मीद की दुनिया का बंटाधार
स्नैपडील है सबसे बेकार “

Ridiculous

We were taught
One should study in healthy environment
With nature ,in gardens ,
As it makes our brain sharp
We tend to grasp things better
Today’s generation
Does coding
Sitting on toilet seats
Carrying laptops to washrooms
Find themselves highly intellectual
Present themselves busy
Don’t want to waste time
Utilizing loo time too
Its ridiculous
No wonders ,we have more shit in lives

Hairs

Dose of nutrition
Being dietician I am asked
What to do for good hairs
I tell them ,nothing
No one can save hairs
If they have to fall
They Will
No matter you take selenium, zinc ,iron
No matter you eat ,beef ,chicken ,flax ,chia
Sunflower seeds , tuna ,liver ,blah blah
No matter you eat coconut, amla
Apply coconut oil ,almond oil ,olive oil
Or many more
You do head stand ,hand stand
Rub your nails
Don’t drink cold drinks
Do not smoke ,or take alcohol
Eat fruits ,vegetables ,seeds
Drink milk ,take yoghurt
Do whatever you want
Don’t apply hair products
Don’t go for ,chemical treatments
Still
If there has to be hair fall
It will be
So my answer do not  do anything
Just relax and enjoy .

Busy techie

Busy techie sitting on rickshaw
Busy on his laptop
Unaware of traffic
There comes a speeding car
Rickshaw puller tried to save
There is a pit
Here goes rickshaw into it
Laptop on one side
Techie on other
Rickshaw puller down
Quickly up his feet
Checked his rickshaw
Paddled it
Techie still on road
Yelling at system
Then comes thought of laptop
Oh God! What have you done
My system gone
I was watching all this
And thinking
Should I feel pity on techie
Or rickshaw puller
Or have a laugh
Techie got his coding wrong
System crashed

Champion

My dad gets up in the morning
He is hungry
He has logic
Whole night he didn’t eat any thing
Then he eats ,first thing in the mornings
He goes to washroom then
He comes out
Again he is hungry
He has logic
He has excreted everything
So eats again
Then he goes for walk
He comes back ,eats again
He has logic
He spent energy in walking
He then goes for breakfast
After sometimes he is again hungry
Its pre lunch now
Then lunch
He sleeps then
He wakes up hungry again
He eats again
Then its supper time
Then dinner
Before sleeping he needs to eat
He has logic
What if I feel hungry
During sleep
So actually its me who is working out
And do all household chores
But its him who is champion
He eats on my behalf too
Great going dad

Ajay Kohli

Slow and steady misses the train

Well slow and steady wins the race
Well one should have some pace
I guess slow and steady misses the train
I know the pain
Standing at door with 25 kg weight
Dad is not opening the gate
He is meant to be late
Still my dad is great
If I walk at my slowest ,he will be 1 km behind
You shout ,you scream ,let your teeth grind
He will walk at his pace
I am patient its God’s grace
He has an appointment with doctor ,still he will clean his feet,for  half an hour
You go mad ,he will take his time in shower
He asks earth ,should I take next stride?
Hats off to my mother being his bride
If he is cutting vegetables  ,you will get your lunch at dinner
Its a good way to get thinner
If train has to leave ,let it leave ,he will not be swift
No doubt my dad is God’s unique gift

Ajay Kohli